In many relationships, there comes a time when one or both of the partners desires some space and time away from each other. Some people may see this as a red flag, and immediately jump to the conclusion that the person wanting space no longer loves them or is already in a relationship with someone else. This may not necessarily be the case. If you are in a relationship that is struggling and you are having difficulty resolving your issues, taking a break from each other can be a way to clear your mind and get a better perspective on the situation. When you are living and dealing with a person on a daily basis, it can be difficult to really take the time to do the “self work” that you need to do to repair the relationship.
One of the biggest issues with lesbian relationships is the fact that women tend to love fast and hard. Lesbian relationships accelerate very quickly in the beginning with both parties loosing themselves in each other. Once you make that deep connection, it’s like the entire world stops existing and you can only see each other. You stop hanging out with your friends, your routine changes and all you can think about is this wonderful woman that’s come into your life. Well as time passes and the relationship begins to grow and develop, one or both of the partners may begin to realize that they have lost some of their individuality and wish to regain it. If you feel the need to re-discover your individual self, the key is openly communicating your needs to your partner. This may be a difficult conversation because many people become naturally fearful anytime someone brings up needing space in a relationship.
There are a number of ways that you can take a break without “breaking up.” Taking a break may mean simply altering your routine and not spending every waking moment together. Take a weekend off and go to a resort with your girlfriends, or go on a fishing trip with your buddies. There is some truth to the old saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” One couple that I know saved their relationship by one of them taking a position at work requiring monthly travel. They described the time apart as an opportunity to rediscover the feeling of missing and longing for each other which added a much needed spark to their relationship. Be creative in how you find ways to give yourself the space and time to care for yourself. If we learn to take better care of ourselves, we will ultimately be better partners in our relationships.
Dr. Tonya Featherston
If you would like more information on how to strengthen your relationship then visit our site at http://www.lesbiancouplesclub.com. Dr. Tonya provides relationship coaching to LGBT couples and individuals.