Trust is the foundation and cornerstone of every relationship. Trusting your partner means that you believe that they have your best interest at heart and that they would not intentionally do something to hurt you. When you begin a new relationship, you have no reason to automatically trust that person, trust must be earned over time. You learn to trust your partner based on their actions. If they keep their word and treat you as you would like to be treated, then the trust begins to develop.
My clients often share with me how much they love their partner, but I seldom hear them talk about how much they trust their partner. We all understand that we must gain our partners trust in the beginning of a relationship but what we often miss is the fact that trust must also be “maintained” in a relationship. One of the quickest things to erode and tear apart a relationship is a lack of trust. You can love someone but not trust them. Sometimes there is a lack of trust in a relationship because of the actions of your partner. Perhaps there have been numerous times when your girlfriend or wife has not kept her word or followed through with a promise. There can also be a lack of trust in a relationship due to issues with your past or past partners. Whatever the reason may be, I suggest using the following five ways to deepen the level of trust in your relationship:
- Keep what your partner tells you within the confines of your relationship – In my life coaching practice, this is one of the most common issues that causes problems between a couple. Sharing information about your partner or about your relationship with your family or friends can be a sure fire way to destroy the trust in a relationship. Be careful about what information you choose to share with others about your relationship.
- Follow through with the little things – Sometimes we get into the habit of breaking what we call “little promises.” We promised to come home early on Fridays for date night, but we are often late. We promise to work together on better eating habits, but we keep bringing home fast food. Often there are lots of little unfulfilled promises that end a relationship.
- Ditch the technology – In today’s world we spend more time than we realize communicating through technology. It has gotten to the point where we will text and call each other while in the same house! Nothing should replace face to face communication…it’s priceless.
- Actions speak louder than words – the best way to apologize for anything that you have done in a relationship is by changing your actions. Don’t just tell your partner, show your partner that you will not repeat past mistakes or negative behavior.
- Practice Forgiveness – As your relationship grows over time, there will inevitably be a time when you or your partner will say or do something that causes hurt. Learning to forgive your partner and yourself is a critical part of deepening the trust in a relationship.
If you and your partner are struggling with trusting each other, and need help rebuilding your relationship, contact me for a free relationship coaching consultation at email@example.com.